Friday, December 7, 2012

Gravity is working against me

Oh John Mayer, you have no idea.
Let me tell you a story: Yesterday I tried to get up off the couch.


Oh! Here's another good one: Last night, I tried to roll over in bed.
Gets me every time!
Sure, it sounds simple.
These days, each of those is an Olympic effing event.
I think my stomach muscles and gravity are conspiring against me.
Pre-pregnancy I swore I didn't have abs, but now I look back and think I must've had a friggin washboard. So many little things I did without ever noticing the fact that it took a little thing called abdominal strength. Sitting down, standing up, rolling over--I feel like a dog, the small accomplishments I pat myself on the back for now. Laundry,walking, opening jars, getting out of bed (now apparently an act of ab strength and willpower)--who knew?
I'm usually a stomach sleeper. Just give me a place to lie down and I will be cozy in no time. This whole sleeping on my side thing is really cramping my style. And my neck. I end up having to roll over at least 20 times a night. It goes something like this:
"Again?! Ok, maybe I can wait it out...3, 2,..nah my neck hurts too much, I need to roll over. I can do this. Think strong thoughts. Hips first..(flails legs around a few times until they finally work)...successful. Upper body now...(pushes self up on forearms, catches breath, completes roll)...success. Now to get my breathing and heart rate back to to normal after that strenuous workout."
It used to be so simple!! WTF?
Eric loves watching me try to get off the couch. I think it might have something to do with the fact that it makes me grunt like a powerlifter and I make awesome faces while trying to complete this simple task. Or that I fail several times before I finally stand up because my weight distribution is 18 different kinds of out of whack.
So in conclusion, John Mayer, you may think gravity is working against you, you may think that gravity wants to bring you down. But until you are 8 months pregnant with 18 extra pounds of person strapped to your core where your abdominals should be, you don't know the half of it.
That is all.

Check out this show off. All bending and shit.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Ees for fun.

How far along? 29 weeks
Total weight gain: 14 lbs. thus far
Maternity clothes? Oh yes. I officially can't pull off normal shirts any more. Sad day.
Stretch marks? None so far. Coconut oil, do not fail me!
Sleep: ehhhhh
Best moment this week:  going on a Gap spree with our discount card from her Auntie Cam. Eric managed to find a green and blue flannel dress and was so excited that they could match. It was fantastic. Oh! and the bartender at the wedding we just went to measured me out the perfect sized glass of red wine. I almost cried.
Miss Anything? Breathing. Runners up include Cabernet Sauvingon, tequila, and tying my own shoes.
Movement: wiggles, twitches and my morning "wake up!" rib punches.
Food cravings: Jello, honey nut Cheerios with bananas, coconut hot chocolate
Anything making you queasy or sick: hmm still the smell of food cooking. Especially red meat. Bleh.
Gender:  Little lady

Labor Signs: psh. Nuffing real. Lots of  Braxton Hicks, but that's about it.
Symptoms: I would love an oxygen tank right about now.
Belly Button in or out? in but barely.
Wedding rings on or off? On, but my ring finger is not happy about that. It's itchy.

Happy or Moody most of the time: Somewhere between happy and crazy on edge.
Looking forward to: Finally seeing what she looks like! Bringing her home. And labor. Lehhss do this thing!

Friday, November 9, 2012


Cameras are not my friends. I avoid them at all costs. I was not blessed with the same gorgeously photogenic genes as my mom and sisters. Not sure how those skipped me, but alas, they did.
Something about cameras temporarily makes me forget how to smile and leaves me with an awkwardly posed I-think-this-is-how-I-smile-normally?? look on my face.
It kinda looks like this:
And then I get all like

I chose our wedding photographer based on a few simple facts--her previous work was beautimous aaaand she promised me minimal "now look at me and smile" posing.

I suppose it's natural to run from something that you always feel makes your face a little fuller, your teeth a little more..."off" white, your weight on your license a little more questionable.....(Okay, maybe it's not entirely natural. I never run from Oreos--riddle me that. Maybe I should have said "some mechanical thing.")
Eric and I have been tossing around the idea of newborn photos for a few weeks now. It's an established fact--I WANT the pictures. But who should take them? The grand appeal to me of doing them myself--I would not be in any! Woohooo!!!
No pouring over picture after picture trying to ignore my awkward smile face and trying to focus on the others in the shot. No knowing that while I'll love the little chubby bunny in my arms, I won't instantly love my own post-baby chubby bunny-ness.
Purely selfish and vain--you betcha. But to be fair, it's also part genuine fear--cameras give me anxiety. I'm not sure why! I love, love, love other people's newborn/family shots. I think they are stunning! Beautiful!
The thought of going in front of the camera myself scares the living daylights out of me.

And now I think I need to get over that.
I was in the middle of my usual internet morning stroll, and I found this little gem of an article.

I think she says it all. I thought about it, and I really don't want to deny my baby girl pictures with her mama. I may not think I look my best, but really, that's not the important part. I love my pictures of me and my mom. I love seeing her smile and her warm eyes and the love that pours out of her. I love seeing my face next to hers and noting our similarities, our differences. I'm so glad that as a kid, my mom let me take her picture while she made pancakes, even if she doth protest firth. I'm glad that, most of the time, when she would film us with the video camera, she's flip it around for a split second and give a cheery, "Aaand I was here, too!" I love that this happened for me and now I need to conquer my camera fears so I can make it happen for my baby. I don't think she'll look and see how lop-sided I think my eyes get when I camera-smile. I mean, I hope not anyways. I hope she'll just see that her mama loves her.

Better book the photographer!
Now there's something I never thought I'd say excitedly. Mind=blown.

P.S. Why, yes! I did just discover a kick ass gif page! How could you tell?

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

"You come from a long line of sinners like me"

The infamous shirt. I got one of him
standing in front of the American flag instead.
Slightly less scandalous ;)
We got to go to an Eric Church concert on Sunday night and it. was. AMAZING. He is one bad ass guy who puts on a fantastic show! I was especially excited about the big, fun group we got to go with. We loaded up a 15 passenger van (cuz that's how we roll) and showed LA just how fun 5 pregnant ladies can be at a country concert! (The answer: pretty damn). I think the best part of the night, (ya know, aside from Steve getting mistaken for thee Eric Church) had to be this one song. It's one I've always liked but never thought about too much. Well, my little babe was pretty quiet for pretty much the whole show. Not a kick or hiccup or bladder jab to be detected. But once this song started, she went nuts. Just til the end. Then she was done for the night. Since then it's been in my head. I've been humming it to her and thinking about it. In a way, I think I'm going to give this one to her.

Ok, so it's about a guy. Aaand it has two verses devoted to drinking. But the thought behind it has stuck with me. I've always given certain songs to certain times and people in my life. This one made me think about how I hope she feels when she's older. I hope she knows her mama was not even close to perfect. I hope she's not afraid to come to me with her mistakes and problems. I hope she knows I will never expect perfection from her. I mean, this is me we're talking about here. I had to seriously talk myself out of buying a t-shirt that said "Eric Fu*king Church" on it. (I know, sooo ka-lassy, but whatever, it made me laugh and it would've never been seen outside our house.)

We all fall down, I've messed up, she'll mess up. We just do the best we can. I hope when she comes to me with a mistake, I'll remember how to help her through, and also to remind her that we just can't be perfect. She'll "come from a long line of sinners like me."

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Can't. Freakin'. Wait!

I'm getting pretty excited about this time, next year.
I know, I know, not exactly "in the moment" of me. But there is so much to look forward to about this time next year!
I love the fall and the winter and all the jolly holidays in between. I'm soo freakin' excited that next year will be our year of firsts--baby girl's first Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, all the good stuff! I'm currently stalking Baby Gap's clearance rack so I can pounce on some awesome Halloween jammies. Aaaand I may or may not have Christmas jammies already in my cart. (I have a semi-irrational fear that everyone will find them as adorable as I do and that they will sell out FAST.)

Another big excitement factor--we will hopefully be buying a house closer to family and friends next spring/summer. Which to me means one very important thing--HOSTING PARTIES! Granted I'm pretty sure our first house will be tiny, but it's bigger than a 1/1 apartment and therefore, I must host! I love holidays, one and all. Heck, I'd even Americanize/bastardize Bastille Day if it meant celebrating and eating crepes. And I love a good holiday party. I don't mean that in a "politically correct December way," I mean any holiday is cause for celebration to me! Halloween jamboree, Fourth of July BBQ, New Years Eve extravaganza, Christmas cookie and cocoa night--It doesn't matter, I love it.
Holiday specific tablewear--love it.
Pumpkins for decorating from September 26 through Black Friday--love it.
Old school plastic pumpkin buckets--love it.
Green nails in March--love it.
Old Navy Flag shirts in July--love it.
Homemade Valentine's cards--love it.
Christmas presents and midnight Mass--love it.
Baking in November--love it.
Sparkly drinks/dresses on NYE--love. that. shit. (Sorry, getting excited here.)
Now I'm excited for this year!

But seriously, next year--look out! Eric's time off permitting, we will be hosting fiends. People will get sick of all the invitations. The parties swirling around in this head of mine. It'll be awesome. I don't care if it's just a Me Party a la The Muppets with just the 3 of us. Celebrations will be had. You should come!

Friday, October 26, 2012

The Good Stuff

I put in my notice for my last day of work. Come December 1st, I'm a free, fat little bird :)

Eric insisted I get new running shoes since my last pair were....4ish years old and flat little pancakes. Yeah, dropped the ball on that one. Buuuut, thanks to the kind people at Brooks, I now have shoes that I think were cobbled by angels. My feet, ankles and knees are so happy the could cry.

My Christmas presents are all wrapped up and they look beautimous.

On a Christmas note, I talked Eric into getting a mini 3ft. tree this year. I've always wanted one but last year he said no. But seeing as how last year we had a 6ft. beauty with only one solitary ornament on it, he agreed to downsize. I'm so freaking excited.

Ever since they added Michael Strahan to the show, Eric likes to watch Live! with me in the mornings when we're both home. It's a nice, cozy little ritual.

My stomach has become home of the amazing disappearing stretch marks. I'll swear I see one starting, all red and skinny going across my stomach. One dousing of coconut oil (whoop for home remedies) and a night of sleep later, it's gone. I think they're just teasing me for now, but fingers crossed that they stay away. Just for funsies.

I'm going to make Jello this afternoon. And maybe a strawberry cake.

I'm going to take my favorite chicklets  trick-or-treating in a few days. I love watching them flip out over candy.

I just discovered Hart of Dixie. Me! Lover of all things country and rustic with accents. It's on Netflix. What have I been doing with my life?

I found a mode on the elliptical at the gym that coaches you through a cross training workout. It's my new favorite thing. It gets just about everything and gets me in and out of the gym fast.

I have a huge pot of homemade soup in the fridge. Nom, nom, nom.

Halloween is next week, which means Thanksgiving is coming soon, which means Christmas will be here soon, and New Years will be here soon.
And our baby will be here soon :) EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Lean, mean, nesting machine

Okay, okay.
Lean is debatable at this point., I prefer hormonal.
But come on, "big bellied, hormonal, nesting machine" just doesn't paint a pretty picture.

In the past few hours I've:
scrubbed my kitchen
cleaned out all my bathroom cabinets
took all my paper Trader Joe's bags and plastic shopping bags to recycling
went to Target to buy organizing supplies
started a batch of homemade applesauce
moved a bookcase
reorganized our coat/shoe closet
vacuumed everything
Folded a ton of laundry

Still to go today and tomorrow:
baseboard scrubbing!
organize kitchen cabinets
go through boxes of crap and throw stuff away
more laundry!
wash my car and clean it out (....yikes....)
organize baby stuff
meal plan for the week

Hmmm see, I hit 25 weeks this morning. So between realizing that and dealing with a ton of Braxton Hicks in the past few days, it just feels like she's going to be here before I know it. I have an overwhelming desire to clean EVERYTHING. IN. SIGHT. and organize to the nth degree. Very un-me.
And Eric's gone working overtime, so I don't gots much else to do on my day off.
We'll see how long this lasts.
Now if you'll excuse me, I am disturbingly excited to attack my baseboards.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Sap--it's not just for trees anymore.

I am a full blown sentimental sap.
Yep. If there was a support group, I would be a part of it, if there was a shirt, I'd own it. Hell, I'd run the group and the shirt factory.
It can be embarrassing at times--crying at commercials, anyone?--but I've embraced it. S'pose that's for the best since this whole pregnancy thing has my emotionalism jacked. Big time.
Case in point--today I had a moment. I was all alone so no one would've ever known, but here I am posting about it on the internet.
I was watching an old Gilmore Girls episode. At the very end, Luke goes to his ex's house in superman protective dad mode and tells her how he will fight for his daughter. He was yelling about how he needs to see her and what a great relationship they have and how he'll fight to keep it and I...yeah, teary hot mess. Got me thinking about my sweet, protective husband.

 Now that I'm showing much more and he's felt/seen her kick, I think it's gotten more real to him. He has entered the too cute "My wife is delicate" phase. Protective to the max. He was making pasta sauce the other night and had me examine the mushrooms to make sure I could eat them. Even after I assured over and over that mushrooms were just fine. In the past few weeks, he surprised me with a beautimous new rocking chair, flowers, TJ's fruit leather (he's got my numba), offered repeatedly to paint my toes for me after I mentioned I couldn't reach them anymore, rubbed my shoulders and jumped to his feet saying, "What?! What do you need?!" if I gave the slightest cue that I was getting out of bed at night. It's so sweet, I don't even know what to do with myself.

I can't freakin' wait to see him with our little lady. In my head, she looks just like him--I swear in our last ultrasound I saw his nose. Something tells me she'll have him on her little finger, but he's already started the, "She will not be allowed to wear/see/do that" talk. Hehehe. He's a sweetheart. Hopefully she finds someone just like her daddy some day.

Monday, September 10, 2012

My darlingest daugher,

Well my sassy little sprite, we have been together for 20 weeks now. And already, I think you've got a pretty distinct personality. Just take your 17 week ultrasound. You even made the tech laugh! As soon as there was a camera on you, you turned your tiny head right towards us and waved. All I got out was, "Is she...?" and the right away the lady laughed and said, "Yep! That's definitely a wave!" Hehe. Then I found out you were a girl after we referred to you as "he" for so long. You didn't seem offended though. After we got the shot, the camera moved back to your little face and the tech started laughing again. You had your mouth wide open like you were laughing saying, "Haha! Gotcha, mama and daddy!" So basically, I think you're a mini jokester.
 You sure are a strong! You really like to kick me while I try to fall asleep. Actually it seems your favorite time of day is 11am or pm. Apparently, that's play time. It's fun to keep track of these things. Just to see if you're still like that when you're here. To see if 11 is still fun time. If you're still a ham for the camera. If you like to joke around and play tricks on your daddy. If food time is still your favorite time. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that. So, like I said before in another post, I talk to you a lot. And usually I ask you what you want to eat because, let's face it, in my right, non-pregnant mind, I would never eat some of the combinations I've had in the past 5 months. Almost every time, after we agree on something and I eat it, you do a little back flip. Seriously. I feel you flutter kicking all over the place like you're saying "Mmm good job, mom." So we'll see if you're the same picky, indecisive eater down the road.

I know this all sounds crazy and you're probably freaked out that this crazy person is your mama. But know that I do these silly things--keeping track of your personality-thus-far and writing you letters that you won't read for a while--because I find you so fascinating. We're half way through this pregnancy, we are :) And these little things help me pass the time til you're here.I just can't wait to meet you. I want you here now! Hehehe. I want to see your face. I want to talk to you and sing songs to you. Cuz...right now I just look silly doing those things to my tummy. I love you, monkey. And now I'm going to go get myself an orange, because that's what you want right now.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Hormones and gratitude.

Soooo, I'm totally that weird girl who walks around her house talking to her stomach.
Sue me.
I'm alone a lot and enjoy that now I can talk to my new little girl(!)friend. Today we were cleaning and doing laundry and she was kicking up a storm. I assume this means she enjoys housework as much as her mama ;) I tried different names on her, I asked her what she wanted for lunch, I hung her new pictures on the fridge.
At some point while I was hovering over my stove, willing my quesadilla to cook faster, I had what I like to call a gratitude/hormone attack. Glad you asked. A gratitude/hormone attack happens when I'm overcome with thoughts that I'd have any other day and smile, but during pregnancy they turn me into a crying mess. I started thinking about our little family, and Eric telling me last night to "take care of my little girl!" (heart=melted), and...implosion. I stood there crying  like the hormonal sap that I am, with my arms wrapped around my stomach, thanking God for giving us this little life. This sweet little girl is ours. Just that statement blows my little mind. I'm amazed at how much I love this little peanut already. And how even in just a day, she's brought out a side of Eric that makes me love him even more. I mean, he's been great the whole pregnancy, but watching him process the whole "girl" thing and seeing his silly smile afterward just....:) wow.

All this while cooking Mexican food.
You should see me watch a chick flick.

I wonder if this means I shouldn't watch The Family Man this Christmas?

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Hi, remember me?!

Oh goodness, hello little neglected blog!
So basically, I've tried to write this post at least 6 times. Seriously. I have all of them saved as drafts. Chalk it up to pregnancy hormones or fatigue or whatever, but I couldn't bring myself to post any of them. I could not for the life of me put a coherent thought together. My mind was all over the place. I quote to poet McConaughey in his prolific piece "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"--
"You're up, you're down, you're here, you're there, you're like a freakin' one woman circus, Andy!"
Oh yeah. BTdubs. I'm pregnant. I'm pretty sure all of my vast viewership knows this by now, but, ya know, now it's official. And yes, I did just write in high school text speak. I'm 16 weeks and feeling a little bit better than I did a month ago. Not 100% yet, but honestly I don't think I'll ever be the same 100% again, so I better get used to it. Case in point--We went to a wedding a few weekends ago. Eric was taking me to the dance floor. I was ashamed, but also a little proud of such an accomplishment. I finally broke the man--he likes to dance! Muahaha.

Anyways, now that I'm a little more, shall we say, able-brained, it's time to do one of my favorite things--make a to-do list. I've got 5 more months to get a few things in order. Starting with...

1. Put a filter on that mouth. I think I was a sailor in another life. Not all the time. But at any given time, given the proper circumstances, I can get on a roll that I can't quite decide would make my dad proud or embarrassed. My lovely mother once...many times...told me that she didn't raise me to talk like that. To which I respond, "Maybe you didn't. But dad did." Hehehe me and my clever responses. It amuses Eric and even my mama, but I sure don't want my 2 year old talking like me. Better get on that. Mission "Eradicate the F-Bomb" is on.

2. Clean stuff. I've found the great paradox of my pregnancy: a great desire to clean/nest coupled with an overwhelming annoying exhaustion. It's ridiculous, but it's usually brought on the same way. I'll be driving home from the market with all sorts of plans of a carpet cleaning, base board scrubbing, general whole home bleaching extravaganza. And then it happens. I meet my great destroyer. The one thing that unravels all my plans in a matter of seconds....ok, it used to be seconds, these days it's closer to a full minute. Yes, I meet my ultimate demise in, my Everest...the 15 step single flight of stairs up to our second floor apartment. The way I climb that thing you'd think I just spent the last 2 hours on a Stairmaster. I heave, I huff, I puff, I curse its existence, I stop at step 7 for a break, I count the remaining 8 steps, I try to catch my breath at the top, I unlock the door, drop the groceries on the floor and collapse on my couch to recover from another successful climb up the Himalayas. The day's cleaning plans? Gone. Well, that's not entirely true, I dream about them during my nap on the couch. I'm trying to let myself enjoy the fact that this is my only pregnancy I'll ever have by myself, but the fact is...I need to mop shit. *As you can see, Goal #1 is getting along swimmingly.

3. Kind of goes with #2, but find the floor in our bedroom. So our bedroom is a disaster. Has been since we moved here. Wait, wait, let me explain. Allow me to paint a picture for you--our bed takes up almost all the room. Our tiny closet is stuffed with storage boxes filled with things that will be nice when we have a house, but don't quite fit in a 1/1 apartment. Eric has a dresser and a clothes rack at the foot of the bed and the floor is covered with boxes of more stuff, laundry that would be in the laundry room if we had one, clean clothes that have no where to go and towels and sheets that are homeless without a linen closet. Now don't get me wrong, I am so thankful to have our little home, but it would be nice to figure out a different storage technique that would give me back the floor in my room.

4. Christmas shop! This is its own post, really, but I'll intro it here. My goal is to have everything purchased and wrapped by the end of September. The simple fact of the matter is come December I will be 8 months huge and a packed mall just doesn't sound like it'll be a good time. Or trying to wrap stuff and tie bows when I won't be able to tie my shoes. So I'm hunting down deals and I've found some great stuff so far. In fact as of this morning, I am two gifts away from having all of our nieces and nephews done. Woo hoo!!!

So that's the list for now. I'm sure I'll be adding to it as time passes and I grow in circumference.
Have a lovely Thursday!

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Picture Palooza cuz I'm oh so behind

Eric graduated from Kern County Fire Department's academy. Above is us at family night and below is Eric receiving his badge from his dad.
We skipped town and went to San Luis Obispo and Pismo Beach for a few days :)

Eric surprised me with one day/night at a resort
Wine tasting in Paso Robles on the way home. Don't I look so thrilled to have my picture taken?
I got to go to beautiful Sonoma to see my bestest friend graduate from SSU. She dressed me up and introduced me to the town, but in those shoes, we lasted a few hours.

Graduation day! I'm oh so proud of her!

From there, I hopped a plane and headed to Minnesota to meet this adorable little lovebug, our new nephew, Charlie :)

having a lazy morning with Auntie.

Only picture I got of Charlie and his mama and I love it :) Total mommy in action hehe!

"Charlie you'll be strong, Charlie you'll be smart, Charlie you'll be anything you want to from the start...Oh my darling Charlie" What a wonderful week of baby snuggling, How I Met Your Mother marathons and so much fun. I can't wait to see you again!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

You guys headed home?

Alright. First the food round up, then on to the main event. This past week, Eric took me on a lovely little getaway. We spent a day in San Luis Obispo and then another day at a resort on Pismo beach. It was sooo nice to get out of town for a little bit. A major upside to coastal hippie towns--they're packed with little cafes with oodles of vegan options. Woot woot for sort-of hippieness. Eric was a champ and took me to a vegan restaurant for dinner one night. I had never been to one before, so I was so excited to get to simply order straight off a menu and to not have to fake dairy allergies ;) During the trip I had some scrumptious balsamic veggies, a veggie burger so delicious it was gone in 3 minutes and a bagel sandwich dubbed "The Elvis" (I resisted all 'Thank you very much' jokes while ordering. It was difficult). I did indulge in one "we're on vacation!" treat--a plate full of butternut squash ravioli smothered in...parmesan cream sage sauce. I decided for that dinner I could just pick whatever I wanted since it had been a while, but meat still didn't sound good. CHEESE, however--helloooooo old friend :) I'm pretty sure those noodles made me a better person. Ship those things to the middle East and I'm sure peace would spontaneously happen. For the road, I packed a cooler filled with pesto veggie pasta, mangos, granola, and strawberries....and Fritos. Sue me, it's vacation. Anyways, point is, eating during the drive was easy.

So now that you've heard everything I've had to eat in the last week, let me tell you what I was actually motivated to write about today. Throughout the trip, people kept making reference to home to us. "Where's home?", "You guys headed home?", stuff like that. The funny thing was, we didn't know how to answer. We'd just sort of look at each other and think for a minute before Eric would slowly answer.."Well, we live in Bakersfield right now." It's a funny thing, the difference between where you live and home. We've lived here for 4 times as long as we previously lived in Arizona, and still Arizona still feels 4 times more like home. Maybe it's because it's the first home we had together. Maybe it's because it somehow just fit me like a favorite pair of old comfy shoes. Maybe we've romanticized it. Who knows? I sure don't. Maybe I never will. All I know is that right now, we're just not sure where to call home.
We've painted the walls, put up pictures, bought new furniture, rearranged said furniture and even held a small, but still cramped party here. We've been through some great times and some awful times here. We're so much closer to friends and family and we get to be around more to see our favorite munchkins. That's been wonderful. The town isn't bad. For whatever reason, it still doesn't fit. It's not the worst cast scenario, it's not nightmare-ish, it's just not home. There's no "old shoe" feeling here. It's more like a brand new pair of heels--you know they're nice, you know they look good, but they're still uncomfortable and all you can think about is getting out of them the first chance you get.
 Maybe the next place we move to will be an old shoe (I am exhausting that metaphor today). Everyone always says home is where you're with each other and to an extent that's true. We've been "home" for each other for a long time. But a space to match would be nice too. 

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

We are gathered here to mourn a loss...

Tragedy has struck. I'm not sure how it happened, but I am utterly dismayed....
It seems I have lost my taste for....dun dun dun...the 4th great love of my life, sushi.

Seriously. I sat in my favorite sushi restaurant today with Eric, and I was all kinds of mock/serious depressed. I used to love da fishies :/
For whatever reason (cows facing west in the pasture. etc.), it just was not good to me. It even grossed me out a little bit. The horror, the horror!

The taste, the texture--not having it. I had to pump myself up to eat my piece of sashimi and after a few seconds I had to (disclaimer--ew) spit it out.
I haven't had any fishy delight in about a month and I expected a bit of an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" reaction....wohmp waaahhhh, oh, hello Debbie Downer, how nice of you to join us for lunch.

Oh Veganism, you cruel bastard, you have forced me and my beloved fishes apart.
It's a sad, sad day, indeed.
I will now proceed to console myself with an unnecessary amount of sugar.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Things Marriage Taught Me and other findings

There are Cops marathons all the time.

Men like Cops marathons.

I leave shoes everywhere, he leaves glasses everywhere.

I enjoy waking up in the morning after Eric has already left for work. It's like waking up to a mystery called, "What Did Husband Eat for Breakfast?"

It's not who has the remote--it's who has the laptop.

Apparently, not everyone considers country music videos on CMT "good TV." Shocker.

Dishes can be big fight instigators.

"Husband groceries"--things you pick up so that man will eat. My list: Poptarts, cereal bars, frozen pizzas and chips. Oh, how could I forget the Gushers?

I will always Scrabble.

I will never wrestling.

I don't care if we're married, if you tickle me, I will still hurt your face.

Husbands have their limits. Ex. The Vow--date night. Titanic 3D--take myself on a date.

"I'm gonna have some ice cream." (translated) "I'm gonna eat a tub of ice cream."

His side of the closet--my convenient pajamas.

......Stayed tuned for more gems of marital knowledge.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

So, Nemesis, we meet again...

I came home from Trader Joe's today and began my not-so-favorite task of putting the groceries away. It was then that I was forced to meet...(pause for dramatic effect) my nemesis!
(Dun, dun, dun, lightning flashes, fog rolls through my kitchen, you get it)

His name is Mr. Freezer. And right now, we are NOT friends.
We have a freezer full of perfectly good EVERYTHING. I mean, seriously that freezer is jam packed--chicken, steaks, salmon, even shrimp. (Unfortunately, this whole vegan switch happened immediately after a Costco trip. Umm, sorry, honey...) And I'm not opposed to making it. I figure, better to eat it than let it go to waste, right? Problem is, I just don't want it. Ugh. How's that for a First World problem? "Meh...I have so much food, it's just not food that I want." I want to punch myself in the face every time I open the darn freezer.

I mosey into the kitchen to make myself a breakfast smoothie. This conflict ensues--"Okay, Mr. Freezer Man, cut a girl a break. I just want to retrieve my frozen strawberries in peace." Nope. Not happening. This little bastard stares me down as if to say, "Oh, you poor naive, little herbivore, surely you must know, you cannot have your breakfast smoothie without 15lbs. of GUILT staring at you. MUAHAHA!!" Seriously, he's that dramatic. Punk.

I need to find a way to end this. It's getting ridiculous. The hatred I have for this inanimate object is just....stupid. I need to start cooking the stuff, I just don't know where to start. WHO HAS THIS PROBLEM???? Ridiculous person, party of one.

File this one under, "Unforeseen Vegan Problems".
It's that or "Crazy People".

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Update of my veggification

Alrighty, so it's been about four weeks of my more-or-less vegan adventure. I've had meat about four times in the last few weeks and a few cheesy cheats. Other than that, I'm doing alright. No crazy cravings, no terrible "I'm missing out on EVERYTHING" feelings. I've been having a good time expanding my cooking repertoire and discovering new ingredients. Eric has been such a good sport through it all. It helps that, with his new schedule, he gets plenty of meat and cheese at the firehouse, so he doesn't quite mind skipping out on it at home. Although there have been a few nights when he just looks at me, and I know the poor guy's still hungry. It baffles me, but then again, I'm pretty used to the new meal plan by now. My newest challenge for myself is to find plenty of recipes that I can make vegan and normal without too much extra time (or extra dirty dishes. *cough* lazy.)

So on this winding road of change and challenge, I thought I'd share a few discoveries I have made:

1. No two ways about it, I don't like tofu. It's official. Not my fave.
Ok, now it's out there. Glad to get that off my chest. I've tried multiple recipes in the past few weeks that have brought me to this conclusion. Tempeh (a combo of soybeans, brown rice and millet), however, big fan. Makes very yummy tacos.

2. It is possible to eat, what I'll call "technically vegan" and have a horrible diet. Maybe that's obvious, but I just figured it out. I'm pretty sure a lot of high schoolers are ;) Most sodas, Fritos, Jolly Ranchers--technically vegan. Who knew? Not me. I figured this out after making a one time mistake of buying TJ's corn chips as a treat, cuz "hey, they're vegan." Yeah, won't be doing that again anytime soon. Also butter-less kettlecorn. I bought a delicious bag of it the other day. I destroyed it in one night. Problem--yes. Haha, oh what an interesting time this has been :)So let it be known--even vegans have their "only once in a while" vices.

3. Eating out. Where to start. This will have to be a two part-er. I've found that eating vegan has forced me to prepare. Lots of ahead of time reading of menus online to avoid being self conscious while ordering (I have a phobia of being "that girl," whatever that means). We went to the Yardhouse for my brother-in-law's birthday last weekend and I'd had my pasta dish planned out to order a week in advance. I mean, at least it was something to look forward to, which is cool...right? Anyways, while I was at it, I went ahead and looked up the menus of several restaurants that Eric and I usually go to with friends which brings me too...

3B. My cheat sheet. Chipotle--totally vegan friendly and delicious. Veggie bowl, skip the animal products, pile on the guacamole and you're good to go. Jersey Mikes--a veggie sandwich, no cheese, Mike's way. They might look at you like you're crazy, but trust me it's delicious! Elephant bar had a veggie stir fry bowl as does Lazy Dog. And when all else fails, pretty much everywhere offers a pasta w/ marinara dish. It can be a tad annoying, but it works out. And online menus are a lifesaver :)

4. I have a super patient husband. He's been a very understanding and supportive pal through it all and this is a lot coming from my steak and potatoes man. I made him a homemade veggie burger and he smiled and complemented the flavor. I tried a new meatless pasta, he couldn't wait to try it. Dinner didn't quite fill him up and he shrugged it off and poured a bowl of cereal--this has happened multiple times. What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.

5. Chef Chloe Coscarelli's cookbook, Chloe's Kitchen. Nuff said.

6. My new junk food occasional indulgences(don't judge)--TJ's has vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies AND animal crackers. I KNOW. Meatless corndogs and orange 'chicken' are also good finds. Soy ice cream and yogurt nom, nom, nom. Never thought I'd have once-a-week treats as a vegan.

7. I cooked chicken today and it made me nauseous. Never saw that coming. I honestly decided to try vegan more for health reasons than ethical. I used to cook chicken all the time and it never bothered me. But today while prepping chicken for Eric's tacos, I saw the veins. Never got to me before. Maybe it's just been a while. Strange.

8. I have decidedly not lost my taste for sushi. I am okay with that. We go about twice a month. I think there are worse indulgences I could choose.

Well, I think I've gone on enough. That's the latest update!
Still loving the (more or less) veggie life :) we'll see where it goes.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


I love food. Good LORD, do I love food. I love everything, the colors, the aromas, the prepping, COOKING. Love, love, LOVE it. And now, thanks to Netflix, I have an intense addiction to food documentaries. First it was Food Inc., which brought me into the world of organic produce and meat. Then it was Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead--my lovely and observant husband bought me a juicer for Valentine's day after noting my obsession with that one. Best. gift. ever. But my latest cinematic delight is Forks Over Knives. I highly recommend it, simply because it's fascinating. After watching that flick, doing a lot of online reading and research, and trying a bunch of recipes, I'm having a go at something I never, ever thought I would do--go vegan. I mean, I used to think the very idea was crazy--no meat OR fish? cheese?!!! How do you live?! Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm still trying to figure that out. I'm simply dabbling at the moment. I'm still eating the occasional piece of cheese. I had sushi on Sunday. My favorite shoes are still my oh-so-NOT vegan chic leather boots. Oh well.
But over the past few days, I'm slowly starting to think this could be something that really changes my life.
I'm not gonna lie--I cried a bit the first time I watched Food Inc. last year. Watching cows cry over losing their babies, the animals walking around ankle to knee deep in their own excrement. Oh my. This is coming from me--the girl who always joked about PETA--People Eating Tasty Animals. While I'm not raising my PETA flag anytime soon, my heart got one of those "something is not right" tugs. That started my free range, organic meat only shopping. Then Forks Over Knives got to me offering health benefits that seemed too good to not at least research. More energy? Lower risk of cancer, diabetes, heart disease...? Lose a little extra weight I've got hanging around--perk, to be sure. So I decided why not give it a go? It's something new, a new cooking challenge to get myself out of my kitchen rut. Why not commit a couple of days a week to trying? So I bought some tofu, loaded up my fridge with fresh produce and my cabinets with soy milk. I traded butter for a "buttery spread" (whatever that means!) and am thoroughly enjoying not being afraid of carbs. Truth be told, I love bread and pasta waaaaaaay more than meat, so that's a plus.
Let me tell ya--I'm actually really loving it! I thought I'd be dying and hating life, but I feel great. I went from "ehhhh maybe a day or two" to just going for it and enjoying the occasional "forbidden fruit" so to speak. I feel energized and healthier than I've felt in a really long time! A huge help (and another addiction) came when I stumbled upon a blog for Chef Chloe, a young, California girl vegan chef who kicked butt on Cupcake Wars with vegan cupcakes. Oh my gosh, I'm OBSESSED with this girl's recipes! In about an hour, I tore through her website and ordered her cookbook. My cookbook arrived today and I must say, I'm inspired and thrilled down to my toes! Come on, who'da thought you could make vegan cinnamon rolls? Or creamy (albeit cream-less) pesto pasta? (amazing, by the way). I just finished a roll of homemade vegan sushi--mind: blown.
So, that's the "What's going on in my kitchen" update. It's been an enjoyable experiment so far. We'll see if it sticks. I hope it does! I'm thinking, if I still crave it, reserve meat and cheese and such for celebrations and special occasions. Soooo yeah. I'll keep ya posted and let ya know how it goes :) In the mean time, yay for plant food.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Marriage kills......haha just kidding.

A little over a year ago, I was newly engaged, heart all aflutter and eager to start my new life with my soon to be husband. It was such a lovely, exciting time. So it always struck me as odd that when I told people I was getting married, very often I was met with a gasp and "...but you're so young."
By the way they said it, you'd have thought I said, "I'm terminally ill." It was quite perplexing. The strangely condescending looks and comments that came when people noticed my no-longer-nake- left hand abounded. Word on the street is young marriage will kill you, strip you of your freedom, suck the life out of you and leave you a joyless, travel-less, adventure-less being. Riiiight.

Since I'm young and I'm married, it's often assumed that I'm some sort of "advocate" for young marriage. I'm not. I don't think there's anything wrong with having things you want to accomplish by a certain age or before getting married. That's great. I also don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to get married.

I'm all for getting married when you're supposed to. If that's when you're 20, well, pop the sparkling cider and mazel tov to you. If it's in your 40s, that's wonderful too. When it's meant to be, it's meant to be. But for some reason, young marriage is often seen (in my experience) as an uneducated mistake, naively throwing your life away. Well, I'm here to say young marriage, for the right reasons, can be swell. I daresay wonderful and exciting. Quite the opposite of how it was presented to me. I thought I'd take some time today to tell ya the truth. This is mythbusters, marriage style. Note, I'm just talking about marriage. We haven't been blessed with our own little monkeys yet, so my perspectives are purely those of a new wife, (hopeful) not yet mother. Here are the myths, debunked, in no particular order.

1. You can still travel when you're married! I know the general belief is that marriage basically clips your wings and puts you in a cage. But guess what? It's not true. Since Eric and I have been married, I've been on several great trips to places I've never been before. Nothing exotic, but enough to feed my desire to keep moving around. I even got to go Minnesota (of Kardashian fame ;) to see my sister. The best part about traveling now is that I have a built in traveling buddy. I can't even tell you now many trips I planned when I was single that fell through because of my friends' schedules. But now I have my adventure partner and in the next few months, we have a couple of trips planned! Little things. A road trip up the coast to Oregon, a belated honeymoon to wherever. Maybe I won't always travel on a whim, or every six months or even every year, but when I do, I know I will have someone by my side to turn to and say, "Isn't this amazing?" Up above is me at Lake Havasu

2.You can still go out with friends! Sure things change and you find yourself saying things like, "Let me check with my husband." Then you'll giggle to yourself over saying "husband." Maybe you check the bank account to make sure it fits in the budget. Nevertheless, girls night out still exists. I'm not gonna lie, you're interests shift a little. I don't really do the single girl scene. I don't really want to talk about that hot guy over there. My hot guy's at home. Eric feels the same way. But even though more often than not we do couple things, we're okay with each other taking the occasional night out with just the girls/guys.

From my last outing--The Pistol Annies concert in Hollywood with two of my favorite ladies.

3.You can still participate in the fun, wacky traditions of you're singlehood. Example: You can still do New Year's Eve. Why not? Who doesn't love a good sparkly dress, a built in dance partner and a guaranteed midnight kiss? Heck, you can even still be that couple whose midnight kiss seems to last a little too long....not that we're guilty or anything..;) You can still do the shots and dance til your feet hate you. Every now and then, a good ridiculous time is nice. We had a few of those while living in AZ. They're even better when you're together.

New Year's Eve in San Diego with a few of our favorite people

Flagstaff, AZ--twas here that we helped cross a few shots off the tequila list.

4. Adventure still exists. I mean, marriage itself is a pretty huge adventure. But let me just say in the past seven months, we both swam next to a waterfall, I jumped off a cliff, Eric fed a giraffe, I conquered an amazing hike all by me onesie. Eric fought fire in multiple states, I learned to cook. We were homeless for 48 hours, we moved three times, and we're looking forward to adding another Nicholson to our tiny apartment. Yep, life is still exciting.
me vs. the waterfall

Eric with the giraffe--he's so proud of this picture :)

Yes, marriage definitely changes you. It changes your life in the most profound way. But I promise it doesn't ruin your life. I'm lucky. More than that, I'm blessed. This is what God called me too. My age, though significant, is irrelevant. God asked Mary to carry a His son when she was 14. His will isn't age specific. For me, it was to get married at 21. Sure, the world told me my life was over and doomed to regret. Me? I'm satisfied.