Friday, November 9, 2012

Photophobia

Cameras are not my friends. I avoid them at all costs. I was not blessed with the same gorgeously photogenic genes as my mom and sisters. Not sure how those skipped me, but alas, they did.
Something about cameras temporarily makes me forget how to smile and leaves me with an awkwardly posed I-think-this-is-how-I-smile-normally?? look on my face.
It kinda looks like this:
And then I get all like

I chose our wedding photographer based on a few simple facts--her previous work was beautimous aaaand she promised me minimal "now look at me and smile" posing.

I suppose it's natural to run from something that you always feel makes your face a little fuller, your teeth a little more..."off" white, your weight on your license a little more questionable.....(Okay, maybe it's not entirely natural. I never run from Oreos--riddle me that. Maybe I should have said "some mechanical thing.")
Eric and I have been tossing around the idea of newborn photos for a few weeks now. It's an established fact--I WANT the pictures. But who should take them? The grand appeal to me of doing them myself--I would not be in any! Woohooo!!!
No pouring over picture after picture trying to ignore my awkward smile face and trying to focus on the others in the shot. No knowing that while I'll love the little chubby bunny in my arms, I won't instantly love my own post-baby chubby bunny-ness.
Purely selfish and vain--you betcha. But to be fair, it's also part genuine fear--cameras give me anxiety. I'm not sure why! I love, love, love other people's newborn/family shots. I think they are stunning! Beautiful!
The thought of going in front of the camera myself scares the living daylights out of me.

And now I think I need to get over that.
I was in the middle of my usual internet morning stroll, and I found this little gem of an article.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/allison-tate/mom-pictures-with-kids_b_1926073.html

I think she says it all. I thought about it, and I really don't want to deny my baby girl pictures with her mama. I may not think I look my best, but really, that's not the important part. I love my pictures of me and my mom. I love seeing her smile and her warm eyes and the love that pours out of her. I love seeing my face next to hers and noting our similarities, our differences. I'm so glad that as a kid, my mom let me take her picture while she made pancakes, even if she doth protest firth. I'm glad that, most of the time, when she would film us with the video camera, she's flip it around for a split second and give a cheery, "Aaand I was here, too!" I love that this happened for me and now I need to conquer my camera fears so I can make it happen for my baby. I don't think she'll look and see how lop-sided I think my eyes get when I camera-smile. I mean, I hope not anyways. I hope she'll just see that her mama loves her.

Better book the photographer!
Now there's something I never thought I'd say excitedly. Mind=blown.

P.S. Why, yes! I did just discover a kick ass gif page! How could you tell?

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