Thursday, January 31, 2013

Sittin' Waitin' Wishin'

So baby girl has no evident intention of coming out anytime soon.
That's cool. I like amethyst. Barring some miracle crazy-fast delivery in the next 12 hours, February it is.
If you ask me during the day, I don't mind. I'm alright with it. I'm excited as all get out, but I'm okay with her taking her time. I've got random stuff to do. I've got a banana bread in the oven right now. (My vegan recipe is still thee. best. and I can eat the batter. Win-win.) I'm planning my dinners for the next week. I might go to the movies later and me-party it up at Silver Linings Playbook. I'm writing random posts about nothing. I'm good.
Doc says as long as I'm healthy and baby's happy, we can wait. He even mentioned waiting past 42 weeks if that's what it takes. My reaction to 2+ more weeks was of course something akin to, "Dear God, please, NO." But I'm glad that there's no rush to induce. I have an NST on Monday. We'll see how that goes.

Ask me at night when just trying to roll over causes a contraction, when I can't breathe while laying down, when I can't sleep cause there's a rave rolling through my insides as soon as I relax--
I'm over it.

But whatever. Every day is one day closer, right?...I need to try to remember that during my 3am roll-from-the-left-to-the-right cardio sessions.

As for today, one plan down (hello delicious bread). Next up is take a walk and make my Valentines for my brothers, nieces and nephews because I'm 6 and still think Valentine's Day is one of the best days of the year. In fact, I might paint my toes a festive red today. And I think I'll count the yoga it requires to reach my toes as work out enough for the day. Am I efficient or what?

Sunday, January 27, 2013

40 weeks say what???

So today is my due date. And I do mean "my" due date. The doctor gave me two, I split the difference and picked today. So yay! 260-something days. 3/4 of a year. A long. friggin. time. I'm sure she'll take more time in there just to chill, (although I am sitting here half-ass-edly timing contractions) but I'm just amazed that the end is in sight!

 There were rough days from beginning to end that now run together in a montage in my head with a weird remix of "I Will Survive" and the Rocky training music. (You know the crap..."geeettting stroonnnngerrrr"). Don't ask me why. It's my head and it's a weird place. Playing during my kick ass remix is a string of memories of the good times--food aversions, the day that for the life of me all I could eat was KFC and I cried (too much for my previously vegan little heart), waking up 3 times a night, sore hips, getting serious tequila envy, nausea, crying during medal ceremonies for the Olympics, using my grocery cart to prop myself up and slink through the store the day I got randomly huge Braxton Hicks, the day the first stretch mark popped up (hips. at 37 weeks. sonofabeeshhh.), and finally all these glorious is-it-or-isn't-it?! cramps and contractions for the past 2 1/2 weeks. Woooooo!!!! I've been lucky though because in the grand scheme of things, it hasn't been bad at all. Blessedly uneventful.

Cue the next montage. The nice one with the non-sarcastic good stuff. It has a nicer song. Probably something a la "Feels Like Home" that makes me think about both my husband and our baby at the same time and cry. Weepy pregnant girl, party of one:

4 positive tests after many negatives, telling Eric and watching him freak out (in a cute way), my first doctor's appointment and ultrasound, telling my parents--I don't think I'll ever forget my dad's face, feeling flutters, hearing "It's a girl!", clothes. shopping., kicks! (although I always heard "I can do high kicks!" in my head), playing games with her (if you poke her feet, she will kick you back), getting her crib set up, that one $30 headband order from Etsy that I managed to justify to myself, rocking in my chair that my sweet hubby surprised me with (It's gray. Eeee!!), seeing her recognize certain songs that I listen to a lot (I kid you not), seeing her move, watching Eric talk to her, all the nicknames we have for her, getting her all to myself for 9 months.........:)

I am so excited to meet this little girl, that I'm experiencing a mixture of "Aww it's over" and "G.T.F.OOOOOOOOO." I know, I know--I'm just so eloquent.
So now, as I have just sent my husband off to work, I will wait and drink more water and time and see if I will end up having to call him and say, "Sorry honey, turn around and drive the hour and a half back, it's game time."

Friday, January 11, 2013

Ef. Word.

My dear sweet husband took my car to work so he could detail the inside in his off time.
He's sweet like that.
It snowed last night.
There was black ice this morning.
Some bastard decided to pull into husband's lane.
My car decided to go for a roll in the ice.

Praise God for guard rails next to ravines.
Praise God for a bruise and a scraped elbow and nothing worse.
Praise God that my husband walked through the door this afternoon.
I am deeply grateful. The pictures made me positively ill, realizing just how much worse it could've been.

However, my stressed little self just needs to get this out:
Ef word.

I am writing this down so a year from now I can laugh at the horrendous timing of it all.
That is all.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

And then sometimes I feel old

So occasionally I get hit in the face with life.
Not necessarily a bad thing at all.
Just in a "Hey you, this is your life" sort of way.
Sometimes a feel the gravity of my life decisions in thee. stupidest. ways. ever.
Example for your entertainment and delight:
Yesterday I was brushing my teeth and my internal monologue went something like

"Hmm toothpaste is low. Better buy more today. Oh wait! Last time it was on sale I bought like 4 and they're under the sink. Sweet. Good on ya......
.....Shit, I'm old."

I told Eric and it made him laugh. How does toothpaste make you feel old?! Seriously.
I just kinda stared at the tube for a second and was like, "....I bought that. And I had the presence of mind to buy a few to spare myself a future trip at a higher price. I'm. OLD."
Sometimes it sinks in. I'm, ya know, growed up and stuff. Eric and I get excited over things like putting new tires on the truck (also done yesterday--we were stoked) and Greek yogurt going on sale. I've turned into a grocery shopping savant of sorts in that I remember the cost of EVERYTHING. Not sure when it happened and it blows husband's mind. But I figure, in my current role as stay at home wife-almost-mom, it's kinda my job--know silly facts like the cost of eggs so to better manage the money in the house.
And eggs are currently $1.79 a dozen at our Trader Joes. In case you were worried.

I remember a few years ago when we were dating, I bought Eric an iPod for his 19th(!) birthday. It was one of the biggest purchases I'd made to date, aside from my car . Soooo many decisions about which model to buy and how much. Kinda makes me want to go back and hug sweet little 19 year old me and say, "Yeah, imagine house hunting, kid." What a difference a few years make.
I's old. Or just so much older than I used to be a couple short years ago. If that makes sense.

But all in all, it's usually after our conversations (usually over grocery shopping) about savings and meal planning and which laundry soap is it that doesn't irritate his skin?, and strategically planning major purchases that we look at each other and one or both of us says, "I like our life."

And I do. I'm happy. So much happier than I thought I could be. It's a sweet moment when you realize that everything you ever wanted is here and it's now--that sweet 16 year old boy I had a crush on turned out to be a hell of a husband, our baby girl will be here any day, and our little home has come to life. Wonderful, chaotic, laughter filled, occasionally monotonous, mostly exciting life.

Sometimes I feel old. But then I realize--I kinda like getting older.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Freak Out Du Jour

"We're having a BABY  in a few weeks, Eric!!!! A freakin' BABY!!!! Like, we went to prom together and now we're having a BABY!!!!!!!!! We're in charge of. a. PERSON!! WTF?!"

Eric--"...Yeah." (goofy smile)

It kinda hit me today. And apparently blew my mind. I freaked out a little. Good thing it's just one of us. He's always so steady. It just trips me out how young we were when we met, how young we still are and the fact that we're now kinda, sorta, for serious having a kid.

Anyways, the freak out was short lived. Replaced by sooo effing excited :)

In other news, I detailed the hell out of my stove.
I know, cuz she's totally in there like "Oh, thank goodness! Did Mom seriously not know that that's what I was waiting for?! Now that the stove's clean, I can totally make my appearance."


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Hello, Baby.

36 weeks.
How did that happen?
I spent the majority of 2012 pregnant. Or I could say, as Eric pointed out last night, I spent the majority of 2012 booze-less, chugging water, restless, and eating weird food. Potato, potaHto.

I can't believe that it's actually time to prepare everything because she'll be here soon and not because I just feel like looking at all her clothes again. So much to do and yet so little. Everything is set up and in order for the most part. I think I'm going to prep my post-baby stockpile next week. The good stuff that I already hate going to the store for when they're the only things we need. You know the usual suspects: toothpaste, laundry soap, dish soap, sponges, shampoo, body wash, Brita filters--
HAHA silly me--this list implies that I'll have time to clean and shower after the baby shows up. Rookie mistake? Eh, maybe. Oh well.
It's officially estimated birth month! Woohoo! I'm very much looking forward to not being pregnant and having another girl in the house. (On the Red Carpet will be so much more fun this year ;)
It's been a strange yet blessedly boring road--nothing to report except for your run of the mill pregnancy fun--sleepy, sciatica, food aversions, good times.
I'm just getting antsy! I want her here now!!!!!

So my dear Scarlett Christine--feel free to arrive at any time. We're just about as ready as we'll ever be :)