Yesterday was Eric's day off and we needed some groceries. I told him that we could all go right after I fed Scarlett or I could try to put her down for a nap and I could go by myself.
He told me just to go.
I didn't even know what to do with myself. I think I managed an "Um, ok." Down baby girl went. I ripped my gross hair up into a mess on the top of my head and threw on the first thing I could find to wear. Make up? Ain't nobody got time for that, I've got an hour nap to beat! Purse, check. Grocery bags, check.
I'm missing something, I'm missing something. Wait. No, I'm not! I'm going alone. No car seat in tow? No diaper bag? My arms felt too light! It was too easy to get out the door. It was too...weird.
I got in the car and made my way to Trader Joe's, car dancing and belting out some Lady A the whole way. It was one part excitement and one part trying to distract myself from the fact that my baby was not with me. I think the exact text I sent my sister said that I wasn't sure whether to do cartwheels in the aisles or sprint out the door, all the way back home. My mind was so all over the place that I forgot three of the things I went for and bought three things we didn't need instead. Mommy mush brain much? (Although husband was grateful for the cheap pork chops I scored.)
I made it out of the house for a full 42 minutes by myself. It felt like I just took a week long vacation--it was a nice break. Lovely, even.
But I missed my nugget.