|Tiny rage!! Cuz ish is tough!|
It's funny how a baby is making me rethink life at its most basic. There are many things that I realize must be scary to her. I know people always joke about the simple "good life" of eat, sleep, poop, repeat, but I of course prefer to over think it. Think about it--being a newborn sucks. It's hard and it's stressful.
Exhibit A: On day two at home, around 4am breakfast time, it crossed my mind--she's never really been hungry before. WEIRD. To go from having a constant flow of nutrients to having a rumbly tummy. I mean, if I experienced an empty stomach feeling for the first time and didn't know how to fix it, I'd cry too. Add that to the fact that this new world is all at once too hot, too cold, too bright, too dark, too loud and too quiet--it's scary to be a tiny person! Don't even get me started on constantly waking up in a different place. I'd freak the f*$% out. How bout a hazy understanding of object permanence? Every time she can't see me or feel me, it's like her primary source of food and snuggles is gone forever. For months her tiny body was all wrapped up tight, now it's a free-for-all of limbs and phalanges. Whenever she's not swaddled or she's all nake for a bath, she gets so startled by her little arms and legs. Pretty much the same phenomenon that scares the bejezus out of Chandler.
Being a new mom is tough, but I guess it's no picnic for her either. Usually during our early morning feedings, I look at the fuzzy haired chicklet in my arms and sigh and tell her, "We'll figure this out eventually." Probably not tonight or tomorrow, but, ya know, eventually.